Idiots


IDIOTS AT WORK:
 This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the
 telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and
 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the
 pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we
 come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that,
 since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report
 future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone
 line?)

 IDIOTS IN TOWN:
 I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
 noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She
 informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card
 was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to
 compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the
 credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the
 one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they  matched.
 
 IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
 I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
 local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
 Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by
 cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
 
 IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
 My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
 person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry,
 but they only had iceberg.
 
 IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
 I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
 asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
 To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
 He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
 
 IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
 The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I
 was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she
 asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
 blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on
 earth are blind people doing driving?!"
 
 IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
 At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the
 company due to 'downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "this is
 fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just
 looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
 
 IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
 I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
 and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not
 turn on.
 
 IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
 When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
 car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
 department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
 driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
 instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
 "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied,
 "I know - I already got that side."