IDIOTS AT WORK:
This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the
telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and
7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the
pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we
come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that,
since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report
future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone
IDIOTS IN TOWN:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She
informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card
was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to
compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the
credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the
one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by
cars and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I
was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she
asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on
earth are blind people doing driving?!"
IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the
company due to 'downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "this is
fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just
looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not
IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied,
"I know - I already got that side."