Kids Views On Life
NUDITY: I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening
when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was
stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old shout
from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
TOILETS: My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me
he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it
in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a
charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it
fell in the toilet a few days ago."
YMCA: A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement
and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
POLICE # 1: While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school
I was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down
at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued
writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the
police, Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she
said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
POLICE # 2: It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front
of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?
he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then
towards the back of the van. Finally, he said, "What'd he do?"
ELDERLY: While working for an organization that delivers lunches to
elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon
rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring
at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The
tooth fairy will never believe this!"
SCHOOL: A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm
just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't
write and they won't let me talk!"