Quotations From Women
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. -Helen Hayes (at 73)   I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. -Janette Barber-   Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. -Jan King-   A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out.  The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!" -Linda Ellerbee-   Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. -Lily Tomlin-   A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. -Carrie Snow-   Laugh and the world laughs with you.  Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. -Laurie Kuslansky-   My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. -Erma Bombeck-   Old age ain't no place for sissies. -Bette Davis-   A man's got to do what a man's got to do.  A woman must do what he can't. -Rhonda Hansome-   The phrase "working mother" is redundant. -Jane Sellman-   Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. -Jennifer Unlimited-   Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -Charlotte Whitton-   Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. -Caryn Leschen-   I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. -Jennifer Unlimited-   If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -Catherine Aird-   When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow! -Kathy Buckley-   I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb . . and I'm also not blonde. -Dolly Parton-   You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. Erica Jong-   If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. -Sue Grafton-   I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr-   I think---therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead-   When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler-   Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson   In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man--if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher-   I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinem-   I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night. -Marie Corelli-   If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee-   I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor-   Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. -Eleanor Roosevelt-
~~~~~

* Local Laughter Links *

94-Days     A Bricklayer's Accident

A Cold Winter     A Tool Guide     A Woman Is     Adams Rib

All About Moms     Amish Brakes     Are You Ready For Kids

Birth Order & Children     Brain Fades

Californians     Canadian Jokes     Canadian Speak - Bub defines EH

Church Ladies Typos     Comfortable     Courses For Men

Daffynitions     FarSides     Florida     Food Spoilage Test

Gifts for Men     God's Kids     Gone Fishing

Ham & Eggs     Hands Free Cell Phone Adapter     Healthy Insanity

Hickbonics/English     High Stress Days     How To Clean The Toilet

I Love Snow     Ice Fishing     Idiots     Just Another Day

Kid Laffs     Kid Proverbs     Kids & God

Kids In Church     Kids Views On Life

Long Hair     More Words     New Songs For Seniors     Non Canadian Jokes

PMS! Once I Had IT!     Pregnancy Advice Column

Quips and Such     Quotations From Women

Senior Complaints     Sixth Grade History

Spam Hors d'oeuvres for Bub     SPAM - My Original Homemade Recipe

SPAM - The Fun Food For Everyone

Stress Diet     Stupid Questions     Surely Goodness

Thank God     The Children’s Sermon     The Christian Bear

The Fire Engine     The Foul Mouthed Parrot     The New Baby

The Perfect Husband     The Rules     Three-Kick Rule

When You Die     Why Men should Not Baby-Sit

Words Women Use     What I Want In A Man

~~~~~

[ Home ]   [ All About Me ]   [ Sofine's Free Cards ]
[ The Master's Touch ]   [ Humor ]   [ Edgar Guest Poems]   [ Words To Live By ]
[ Touch The Heart Poems ]   [ Hearts To Hearts ]   [ My Favorite Things ]
[ Scents Of Christmas ]   [ Frequently Asked Questions ]   [ Sofine's Privacy Policy ]

Animated Froggy Email
Email

Updated January 10, 2017

SofinesJoyfulMoments Is Hosted by FatCow
Check Out Fat Cow Web Hosting

Graphics © by Mary (Garren) Morand
© MARY MORAND WEB PAGE - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Webmaster ~ E-Mail ~ Comments