Church Ladies Typos
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals." The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus." Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands." The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you. Don't let worry kill you off -- let the Church help. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons. During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy"! Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 4 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What isHell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 P.M. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M. - prayer and medication to follow. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 P! M. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours." Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

 

~~~~~

* Local Laughter Links *

94-Days     A Bricklayer's Accident

A Cold Winter     A Tool Guide     A Woman Is     Adams Rib

All About Moms     Amish Brakes     Are You Ready For Kids

Birth Order & Children     Brain Fades

Californians     Canadian Jokes     Canadian Speak - Bub defines EH

Church Ladies Typos     Comfortable     Courses For Men

Daffynitions     FarSides     Florida     Food Spoilage Test

Gifts for Men     God's Kids     Gone Fishing

Ham & Eggs     Hands Free Cell Phone Adapter     Healthy Insanity

Hickbonics/English     High Stress Days     How To Clean The Toilet

I Love Snow     Ice Fishing     Idiots     Just Another Day

Kid Laffs     Kid Proverbs     Kids & God

Kids In Church     Kids Views On Life

Long Hair     More Words     New Songs For Seniors     Non Canadian Jokes

PMS! Once I Had IT!     Pregnancy Advice Column

Quips and Such     Quotations From Women

Senior Complaints     Sixth Grade History

Spam Hors d'oeuvres for Bub     SPAM - My Original Homemade Recipe

SPAM - The Fun Food For Everyone

Stress Diet     Stupid Questions     Surely Goodness

Thank God     The Children’s Sermon     The Christian Bear

The Fire Engine     The Foul Mouthed Parrot     The New Baby

The Perfect Husband     The Rules     Three-Kick Rule

When You Die     Why Men should Not Baby-Sit

Words Women Use     What I Want In A Man

~~~~~

[ Home ]   [ All About Me ]   [ Sofine's Free Cards ]
[ The Master's Touch ]   [ Humor ]   [ Edgar Guest Poems]   [ Words To Live By ]
[ Touch The Heart Poems ]   [ Hearts To Hearts ]   [ My Favorite Things ]
[ Scents Of Christmas ]   [ Frequently Asked Questions ]   [ Sofine's Privacy Policy ]

Animated Froggy Email
Email

Updated January 10, 2017

SofinesJoyfulMoments Is Hosted by FatCow
Check Out Fat Cow Web Hosting

Graphics © by Mary (Garren) Morand
© MARY MORAND WEB PAGE - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Webmaster ~ E-Mail ~ Comments