The difference between a New Yorker seeing his CAR being 
vandelized & a Canadian seeing HIS car being vandelized is:

The New Yorker will yell "EH!!!! Wot you think yur DOING??"

The Canadian will yell "Wot you think yur doing EH!!???"

On the sixth day God turned to Archangel Gabriel and said:
"Today I am going to create a land called Canada, it 
will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall 
have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and 
eagles, beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass 
and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs 
over-looking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, 
and rivers stocked with salmon."

God continued, "I shall make the land rich in oil so 
as to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these 
inhabitants Canadians, and they shall be known as the 
most friendly people on the earth."

"But Lord," asked Gabriel "don't you think you are 
being too generous to these Canadians?"

"Not really," replied God "just wait and see the 
neighbors I am going to give them."

So there was this man who lived in Canada named bub..
and he had house right in town.. and no indoor
plumbing... and the outhouse was quite a ways from
the main house.. so anyway.. as he got older, the
trip to the outhouse in the middle of the night got 
to be to much for him so he would go off the front 
porch.. and save himself the long walk in the cold.

Well.. this upset his wife and so she had a lil' talk
with him.. patiently explaining that he shoudn't do that 
cause the neighbors would see him and know what he was
doing. She made him promise to not do it anymore and
they both said *eh* to the pact.

Well, it turned very COLD and he had to go bad in 
the middle of the nite so he got up and went outdoors.
He came back pretty fast and his wife said to him.
"You weren't gone very long, you went off the porch eh??"
He could not lie to her.. so he confessed.. "Eh.. yep." 
She sighed and said.. "ya know... neighbors will know it 
was you and what you were doing out there!"
He said: "Nah, they wont know it was me, I squatted down!"

As Bub an his wife wife Emi, had gotten older they started
noticing that they tended to get a tad bit forgetful. They
would find themselves going somewhere in the house to do
something but when they got to where they were going they
had no idea why they were there. Being used to talking over
problems with each other they sat down and had a little
*power talk* as to what was happening and what they could
do about it.

It was decided they would seek more expert advice so they
approached the family doctor and explained the forgetfulness
and asked his advice for overcoming it.

The doctor questioned them both in depth and found each was
just as bad as the other at not knowing whether they were
*coming* or *going* at any given moment. So he suggested
that they each keep a little notebook and when they needed
to do something just write it down. Then if they forgot,
they could just refer to their note. Both Bub and Emi said:
"Eh.. good idea eh?" and they both answered: "yep!" at the 
same time.

So... they went on home and were watchin the TV later that
evening. Bub looked over expectantly at Emi and she looked
back and said: "eh??" 

Bub said: "I think I would like a lil snack."

Emi says: "Well... What you think you want for a snack eh?" 

Bub says: "Well.. I want some Ice Cream."

Emi says she will go get it and gets up out of her chair
and heads for the kitchen.

Bub questions if she *wrote it down* in the notebook. 

"No!" she says... "I can remember you want ice cream... 

THAT'S not hard to remember!" 

She then says: "you want any particular KIND??" 

Bub says: "yeah... chocolate! I want chocolate ice cream
with chocolate syrup! ... better write it down!"

Emi says: "GADS BUB!! You think I can't remember you want
chocolate ice cream with chocolate syrup eh???"

Emi heads to the kitchen mumblin and Bub is verbalizing in
the background... "don't forget to put it in a BOWL and
bring a SPOON!"

Emi is gone a LONG time but finally returns and sets a real
nice plate of bacon and eggs down in front of Bub, complete
with a nice cup of coffee and two slices of buttered toast.
She smiles sweetly and Bub makes a *smooch* face at her and
proceeds to eat. 

Pretty soon though.. she notices he keeps looking over at her
kinda weird and expectantly. And finally she can't stand it 
anymore and looks him right in the eye and says "eh?"

He sighs wearily and says: "I TOLD you you should have wrote
it down in the notebook... I told you to write it down! Now
you went an fergot the jelly for my toast!"